Sam and Max
by Nintomster
Summary: <html><head></head>A geniric case for Sam and Max!</html>
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

It was a normal (Sam & Max normal that is) day at the office. Sam was sitting at his desk, reading the newspaper (The cover bearing news about how Max's rampage was put to a halt and his reappearance. Let's just pretend Superball took care of the matter concerning Max's death and just said Max reverted to normal.). Max was outside, shooting randomly (at birds, rats, and normal people who "looked at him funny") while yelling. Eventually he came inside, and put his gun away. Suddenly he asked: "Aren't you going to ask where I keep my gun Sam?"

"That joke has worn out thinner than my great brown loafers, used too often in races. If I wore any, and ran in any races. Besides, I already know." Max was sad. Sam saw this.

"Oh alright. Where DO you keep your gun?" Max's face instantly lit up.

"That's NONE of your damn business!" Max smiled. Sam frowned.

"Is this just a shameful attempt by the author to cram that joke into this piece of writing because he can't think of any good Sam & Max™ worthy wit?"

"Quiet Sam, he might hear you!" At that point the phone rang. Max jumped.

"I got it!" He leaped at the phone. Sam lunged at Max and grabbed his leg. He swung him into the open cupboard and the door shut after him. Sam picked up the phone and started talking.

"Yes? Oh hello commissioner! Haven't heard from you since "The Penal Zone-"Max burst out of the cupboard, the remains of Hugh Bliss soaked in his fur.

"Are you breaking the fourth wall Sam? On an unrelated note, we should really clean the cupboard. Apparently what was in that jar had passed through old Max. Thankfully, I don't remember the details."

"Quiet little buddy." Max left the room for a moment.

"Anyway, what is it? Yes? No! Yes! He did what? What did you do? Did you? Oh that cheating rascal! Okay, we're on it!" He slammed the phone down. Max came back in, smelling slightly more odd than usual.

"What is it this time Sam? Some sort of cult sacrificing goats once every year? That guy who made a board game that kills? I'm sure he was beaten up pretty badly already…"

"No little buddy. This time we are going to some generic warehouse!"

"Hurry up then, we are almost on the second page!"

"You baffle me sometimes Max…" Sam told him as they left the office.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

The Desoto whizzed down the road, knocking down lamp posts, poles, bikes, and unfortunate souls trying to cross the street. "Oh, look at him fly! Hee hee, he won't be walking for a while!" Max laughed. He pulled his head back inside the car, his ears were fuzzy. He grabbed his ears, and ran his hands up them, pushing the hairs back into place. "Anyway Sam, why are we going to this probable dump?"

"Well Max, it seems there are a growing amount of smugglers in the area, and they all gather there. We don't know what they are smuggling yet, and that is what we are going to find out."

"And then we can beat the crap out of them?"

"You bet little buddy!" Sam said, as he turned a corner. "Oh, and grab me a Popsicle when we past that stand will you?"

Max reached out, and grabbed the cart. He stuck his hand in, and pulled out one, then threw the cart away. He passed it to Sam, who patted him on the head, and started eating it. "Now, if you don't mind, I'm going to start shooting at random people we drive past!"

"Go right ahead! You have a few minutes before we arrive anyway." Max whipped out his gun, and leaned out the window, and started firing.

They eventually got to the warehouse. Upon arriving, Sam stepped out, and Max fell out. Quickly, he stood up, rubbing the dirt out of his fur. Sam looked at a sign, which read: "Totally Not a Secret Meeting Place! Honest!"

"Wow, they aren't good at hiding their locations anymore eh?"

"You said it Sam. They should try a lot harder. I mean, you are the only one who knows where I keep my gun hidden, and you only found out after 23 years! Well, that's real life years. God knows how long it was for us."

"What the hell are you talking about Max? Shush, someone's there!" Sam jumped on Max, and they both lay on the ground (Max fattened really) behind some discarded boxes. They whispered something inaudible, and went inside.

"Well, the first thing we know from whatever they were talking about (thanks to our superior hearing compared to humans) is that they have a French accent. Or Italian." Sam stepped up, and brushed his suit. He noticed Max stuck on his suit, and pulled him off, and shook him. Max turned then shook his head and sighed.

"I'm disappointed I couldn't hear them with my huge ears. Although I'm also thankful. Not for the same reason of course!" He walked over to the door, and inspected it. "By the way Sam, why do you think they never noticed our car?" He started knocking on the metal door. "Hey, a thick metal door! Bet you I can bite through it!"

"I bet you that you can't." Sam said.

"Deal!" shouted Max excitedly, and he started gnawing at the door. Sam started to inspect the floor, and jumped when he heard a rather loud noise.

"This darn door hurt my teeth! Those fiends must have used some sort of new material not yet known to us!" Sam came over and patted his head.

"Don't worry little buddy, I'll grab some corndogs while YOU drive us home after this case is over."

"You're the best Max-I mean Sam!" He jumped up, and looked for other things to bite and/or shove into his mouth.

"While you are being your normal self Max, I'll look for things that seem pointless at a first glance, but then turn out to be useful. Or they really are just worthless, and I pick them up for no good reason." He took off his hat, revealing 3 hairs, and scratched his head. He bent down, and sniffed the ground, and Max looked at him, stopped for a minute, and went back to chewing a twig.

"I wish I knew why I am chewing stuff all the time right now. Perhaps I'm hungry!" He threw away the twig and walked around. Sam got up now, and straightened his tie.

"Well that was pointless. Want to use the door handle and go inside?"

"There was a door handle?"


End file.
